This weekend Babyboo and I went back home to Chicago to see my niece and nephew. They are so very precious but it is getting more and more expensive to buy their love. The ratio of toys bought versus the return of smiles and laughs is becoming a negative correlation and I am ready to go explicit and paste Tickle-me-Elmo's and 529 plans onto my face to show how much I care. For the weekend, I set my goals high and vowed to regain my status as their favorite uncle for at least the afternoon before they could forget who I am again.
As I have said before, I am the shallow uncle of good times, who bears mounds of gifts and is full of energy to entertain the kiddies for a max of four hours and then I expire and get the hell of there. Unfortunately, my nephew, Jonah, did not recognize uncle Phil during those four hours and cried rivers of tears with every glimpse of me. Not surprisingly, I have grown numb to such rejection, as I have had to deal with Babyboo's disappointment when she wakes up everyday in cold sweats only to find that it was not just a nightmare but that she is, in fact, really married to me.
My niece, Ava, who was initially on stranger danger alert eventually caught on to the fact that my presence equates to treasures and riches for her toy bank. If you see the picture enclosed, it is evident that Ava has embraced her inner narcissist/rockstar. She eventually rifled through our bags of gifts and coyishly (already knowing the answer) asked us (in the third person): "Are these Ava's?" She will be a heart breaker and an amazing gold digger.
For the rest of the weekend, like Jonah, I was babied by my mama and loved it. Mamaboo fed and fed me, cleaned up the drool, and stopped short of changing me. She cooked up all my favorites for breakfast, lunch and dinner in a mathematically impossible caloric orgy and my teeth felt great. I should be dead right now based on the volumes consumed and in fact, I had terrible heartburn and shortness of breath for most of the time at home because I was so full. Babyboo looked at me and my stomach and noted that rolling hills had emerged majestically on my belly but said that "these hills are not alive with the sound of music but the sound of obesity." Ouch.
Anyways, here are some pictures. I am looking for the cheap aww's and so that you can see why my niece and nephew's smiles are like gold nuggets to me...Moviestar Ava, Country Club Nacoleptic Jonah (he fell asleep while taking that picture), and then "Untitled".