Babyboo came back home to me late on Friday and although she may have been thrown off by the recent growth of my fourth chin or had a hard time getting her arms around me, she did not runaway from me in the airport (I was holding on too tightly). Then, in the wee hours of the night, we raced off to her family's timeshare in Newport, RI in a Kia Rio which fit my 6'2" beefy frame like a clown car. After a week of not seeing my Boo, I was excited for what I thought was a weekend getaway for two but surprisingly became an unromantic five some as Babyboo's family surprised us up there (Yippee :( I had to put my shirt on immediately as I walked through the door). After confessing my week of binge eating to her, I was sure that Babyboo was going to have me gnaw on laxatives and Lipitor to get my weight and cholesterol in check but she surprised me with her voracious appetite for seafood and confirmed why we belong together and why we will die young, hand in hand, from corroded arteries.
For most of the day, Team Philistine lived up to our namesake as uncouth, eating whores by camping ourselves at the docks where fishing companies were selling raw oyster/shrimp/lobster/crabs. We were very selective on what we took in but the amount of seafood we bought was inappropriate, as if we were trying to create our own Long John Silver/Red Lobster eating orgy or re-enact scenes from The Little Mermaid.
For most of the day, Team Philistine lived up to our namesake as uncouth, eating whores by camping ourselves at the docks where fishing companies were selling raw oyster/shrimp/lobster/crabs. We were very selective on what we took in but the amount of seafood we bought was inappropriate, as if we were trying to create our own Long John Silver/Red Lobster eating orgy or re-enact scenes from The Little Mermaid.
Shamefully, despite all the time I spent at this dock with the fisherman and given that I play a salesman in real life, I could not negotiate any good deals on the fresh catches of the day and bring a bounty back to nourish the clan. Apparently, others had been able to get amazing deals like 12 lobsters for 12 dollars. I must have offended the fisherman with my attempt to show leg because he was charging me double the amount for less quality lobsters. Luckily, my better half, Babyboo, who often curses like a sailor came in time to relate with the fishermen on their level and bring the price down.
So bargaining is not my strength but as we all know, eating is. With great power, comes great responsiblity. I needed to remember that adage as I unknowingly ate more than my fair share of lobsters at the cost of malnourishing my annoyed little brother-in-law. (Whoops!) I had never seen Babyboo's family so happy to see me leave after a weekend of me accidently strutting around in my boxers one too many times after being asked to refrain, clumsily breaking a couple of dishes in their kitchenette, and then on a more dangerous note, over-pumping gas on their mini-van such there was an overflow of gas all over the car like a water hydrant (I swear that the sensor was not working on the pump correctly but the thought that I would perish in a freak gasoline accident like the care-free gasoline fight scene in Zoolander with Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" playing in my head was eerily fascinating).
So bargaining is not my strength but as we all know, eating is. With great power, comes great responsiblity. I needed to remember that adage as I unknowingly ate more than my fair share of lobsters at the cost of malnourishing my annoyed little brother-in-law. (Whoops!) I had never seen Babyboo's family so happy to see me leave after a weekend of me accidently strutting around in my boxers one too many times after being asked to refrain, clumsily breaking a couple of dishes in their kitchenette, and then on a more dangerous note, over-pumping gas on their mini-van such there was an overflow of gas all over the car like a water hydrant (I swear that the sensor was not working on the pump correctly but the thought that I would perish in a freak gasoline accident like the care-free gasoline fight scene in Zoolander with Wham's "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go" playing in my head was eerily fascinating).
All in, it was a fun time and I think I wore a lobster bib for the whole weekend and still reek like the salty, seafood ocean sprays, which is perhaps why there is not a soul sitting to the left or right of me today and probably for the whole week. Given the antics of the last week and a half, I guess I would not want to sit near me either.
Happy Monday
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