This will be a confession: A couple of friends and I went to see some of the blockbuster movie hits this weekend. We went to go see 'X-Men: Origins" which was pretty action-packed and entertaining. But as we were leaving the theater, we saw that a showing of 'Star Trek' was occurring just next door and about to begin. I want to say that most of the time I do not succumb to temptation except when it comes to free food (I am a whore for that) but every once in a while, the devil on my shoulder gets the angel on the other shoulder drunk and then both start to whisper sweet nothings into my ear to make me do impulsive and ridiculous things. We are a fallen, broken people.
Usually, I would not take from the AMC Theater but the opportunity in front of us brought about nostalgic fumes that intoxicated us to dance in the sins of our youth. So, we meatheads decided to Lambada with the devil and sneak into the movie (the last time I tried to sneak into a movie, I blindly scurried into the next theater and it ended up being 'The Princess Diaries' so I should have learned my lesson).
Star Trek was a great movie (amazing!) but I understand why sneaking into a movie is a bad idea and punishment in itself. After having already sat through 2+ hours of intense action scenes that made my eyes bleed, doing another round of it was traumatizing both emotionally and physically.
Mainly, I am talking about my posterior; sitting on one's rear for that long creates a numbing sensation to the cheeks (i.e. 'the money maker') that have not felt so deflated since getting goosed by Babyboo's family when I first met them and all her grandma's took their liberties with me.
And to add to the karmic punishment, it turns out that sitting still in sedentary sin does not help the body stay fresh. It was the perfect storm of my body being its usual fire-burning furnace mixed with super tight fitting jeans and the theater being more humid than usual that created moral badness.
Whether it was me creating my own gravy in my sweat pores or because the Amazon rain forest that usually starts to steam in my caboose region became even swampier and soggier because of the overactive stimuli that raised my heart beat and wrecked my nerves, it was not fun for me or anyone sitting near me. Sorry for the overshare, please forgive me movie gods!
Also, here is a p.s. confession:
As this was Mother's Day weekend (Happy Mother's Day to everyone out there), I was a little tardy in sending out a Mother's Day Card to MamaBoo in Chicago, so I whipped up some creative magic and express mailed her a card to get there in time, I wrote this (who would not be touched by this?):
You are one of my favorite parents. I celebrate you today and thank you for taking me in after finding me under the bridge that one fateful night. What matters is now, I love how we don't have to say out loud that I am your favorite golden child. You are the best and I love you.
All these funnies go unnoticed by my mother but the $17.50 express mailed postage that I paid did not :(